30 Comments
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Paul Chiddicks's avatar

It feels wrong to like this post Lynda, but it’s a difficult subject to approach and I admire your courage ❤️

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Lynda Heines's avatar

Paul, Thanks. I've felt the same way when others have posted about something difficult to read but should have had a care emoji instead of a heart!! Thanks for stopping by and reading.

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Naomi Yaeger's avatar

Several of my extended relatives have committed suicide. I have written a manuscript about my mother’s childhood and I don’t mention it because it happen when she was an adult.

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Lynda Heines's avatar

Naomi, As in my family, they were all adults. It's a difficult story to tell. Sorry you had it in your family too.

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Marci Keats Rudolph 🇨🇦's avatar

My family has hereditary depression.. some have attempted suicide but thankfully did not complete it and got help. Thank you for sharing. We are not alone.

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Lynda Heines's avatar

Marci, I'm glad they got help. Thanks for your kind words.

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Jennifer Jones's avatar

This was so heartbreaking to read Lynda. So much sadness and tragedy. Unfortunately sadness is often the case when researching family history. I can understand that it would have been very difficult to write. Well done to you for facing it and writing the stories of your family.

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Lynda Heines's avatar

Jennifer, Thank you.

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Laura Pinhey's avatar

This is heartbreaking to read and I'm sure it was painful to write, but what a service to others grappling with suicide in their families. As terrible as it is, it's good news that science has discovered a genetic link to suicide risk. I'm hopeful that will lead to more ways to prevent suicides and help families gain some insight into their own risks.

Thank you for this, Lynda.

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Lynda Heines's avatar

Laura, Thank you for your kind words. It was really difficult, especially about my brother. I did some research on Hairy Cell after I posted this, and it is still a rare disease, but they no longer used Interferon because patients had trouble with it, just what John was dealing with. They now use two drugs, and patients can go into remission for 10 years, but it's not curable yet. It was interesting to see the genetic link.

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Helene | Letters from LaBelle's avatar

A hard subject, but so worth the exploration. Thank you.

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Lynda Heines's avatar

Helene, Thanks.

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Barbara at Projectkin's avatar

Oh the heartache. I'm so sorry, and so touched by your strength to look straight into it and capture it and give strength to others. 🥺 From the comments here you can already see that it has.

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Lynda Heines's avatar

Barbara, Thank you.

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Marian Beaman's avatar

In the culture I grew up in, I recall some male suicides who got girls pregnant without the benefit of marriage. It was a shame!

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Lynda Heines's avatar

Marian, That’s awful and so sad.

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Savanna King's avatar

Thank you for sharing. We have quite a few instances in my family as well... I have one ancestor who I know from family stories committed suicide, but his death certificate shows his cause of death as an 'accident'.

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Lynda Heines's avatar

Thank you for stopping by and commenting.

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Lesley Riley's avatar

There is suicide in my family. My father's father, during the Depression years, and his father before him, before he was even born. No one knew why, at least, no one ever told my Dad. Neither were ill, as far as I know. And there is also suicide on my husband's side. His uncle on his mother's side. Not even his wife knew why, so that is a mystery to all. Another uncle, on his father's side was a Jesuit, and at some point, during his assignment during WWII, he committed suicide. The Jesuits never confirmed it as such as it would be a sin against the church. So much grief and hush-hush in those days.

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Lynda Heines's avatar

Oh my, Lesley. So sad. Thanks for reading and commenting.

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Xanthe Hall's avatar

Interesting about the DNA link. However, even without it psychologists believe that the offspring of suicidal people are more likely to kill themselves. In my case, it was clear because my mother's suicide was caused by mental, not physical, illness. Growing up with that is enough to put anyone at risk.

I am at present researching a suicide "line" in my family that hopefully ends with my mother. My maternal grandfather's brother and his mother also committed suicide. I am ordering death certificates for the whole line.

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Lynda Heines's avatar

Xanthe, I am so sorry. Even though my ancestors committed suicide for health reasons, just the fact, for instance, that my great aunt’s dad killed himself might have given her permission to also do it, and in effect put her at risk. But regardless of the reason, it’s so sad and impacts the whole family. Again, I am so sorry for what you have experienced. Researching that has got to be painful. Sending you a hug.

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Anne’s Family History's avatar

I have relatives who committed suicide but not direct forebears. It is very sad.

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Lynda Heines's avatar

Anne, It is really sad but understandable in my cases. It was about their health. But what’s sad is that in the case of my great grandfather and my great aunt, I never heard about it. The fact Mom and Grandma never talked about my great aunt is really sad. I do remember them talking about one of my great uncle being in the state hospital.

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DearMYRTLE's avatar

You handled these difficult stories well. Death by suicide is an illness not a character flaw as some would say. Only God knows what challenges each of us face. And He alone is our judge.

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Lynda Heines's avatar

Myrtle, thank you. It's a difficult topic, but one that I felt needed to be addressed.

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MelRootsNWrites's avatar

I appreciate you writing about such a difficult topic and such heartbreaking stories. I am currently writing about my grandfather's suicide. It isn't an easy subject to approach.

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Lynda Heines's avatar

Mel, Thanks for reading and commenting. It was very difficult to write but it's an important story to tell. I look forward to reading your piece.

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Cynthia Boatright Raleigh's avatar

How interesting that there is a genetic link for this. I'm so sorry about your family members.

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Lynda Heines's avatar

Cynthia, Thanks. It was interesting to find out about the genetic link.

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